after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
