I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
