My friends, they love my intelligence
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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