I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize