Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
