I hope mine doesn't look like that
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize