i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
