Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
