i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize