i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So squirting runs in the family.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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