Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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