Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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