Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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