trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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