U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
