you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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