Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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