I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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