Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
