I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
