Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i barfeds in our rink
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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