Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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