Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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