I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do plants get herpes?
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