ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
