You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
