Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
