That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
