Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
