Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
