Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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