He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
