I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
