so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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