You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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