I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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