Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize