careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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