this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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