i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
