Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
