we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
