No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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