so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
