Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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