like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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