I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His nipple licking is glorious
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