i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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