Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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