and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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