I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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