Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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