Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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