I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
