Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
