There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
