Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize