My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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