He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
