mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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