so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize