You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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