so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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