you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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