so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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