So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
