i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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