Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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