Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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