A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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