now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
