I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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